Almost time
Looks like I better get crackin' on my 1000 visitors party

As of this post, I'm at 983 visitors.

Which actually isn't very confidence-inspiring. I've seen a few other blogs with 2, 3, sometimes 4 times that many hits in the same amount of time. I need to brush up on my marketing skills.

...or maybe my readers need some motivation!




CHEERS!
- posted by The Outlaw @ 1:11:00 PM |

 
Poor, pitiful me
In my 100 list a few posts back, I mentioned that I had a huge crush on the chick that cuts my hair. She's awesome and everything but I think she got me sick when I went in for a haircut Friday.



I'm not a happy camper!

Anyway, speaking of women, apparently buying ice cream religiously can be a good way to catch a girl's attention. Scenario: I buy a pint of some random flavor of ice cream every Friday or Saturday for my once-a-week cheat (I'm only a slight health freak). I generally go to the local Wal-Greens just because they are close and have a decent selection. Almost always, it's the same girl at the checkout and last night she decided to strike up a conversation with me when I laid my pint of Edy's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream on the counter. Judging by "Marie's" advice about eye contact as an indicator of a woman's interest, I'd say she probably would've left work right then and there to come home with me for some of that ice cream! But, as usual, I'm a big pu$$y and so I went home with just ice cream to keep me warm.

How can you not be sad for me! I'm so pitiful, it may almost be cute!

I found this last night. Amazing how easy it really is to read. Of course, if you're drunk right now it may be a challenge.



CHEERS!
- posted by The Outlaw @ 11:05:00 AM |

 
We are the sultans of swing...
I've been utterly addicted to that song lately.

So I dunno what's been going on here but I've either been very busy or very unable to blog for some reason. Either way, hopefully I get back into full stride soon!

I once said to myself that when I got a good job that paid well, I'd inevitably stop spending money for no reason because I will have had enough money to buy the things I wanted (and materially, I don't really want for much) and eventually I'd theoretically run out of things to buy myself (minus a few sporadic ideas where I walk into, say, Best Buy, look at a new XBox and go "hey, there's a hobby!"). So with very little to buy other than food and other essentials, I'd finally start saving money. This past 2 weeks or so, my theory is becoming reality. Oddly enough, my bank account has been steadily inflating as my money just sits and rots away and I'm perfectly content with it! Now I just have to find a new goal to shoot for in my financial life.

A big thank you to Charlie for including me in his list of influential "blogger-buddies" (so to speak). Mr. Williams was kind enough to allow us all a glimpse of the future and what the inevitable book (biographically-based on my blog) would look like when published...



Charlie kicks ass!

I found an astoundingly effective cure for a hangover recently. Just thought I'd share. Please note that I am not a certified expert so everything stated in this post is a matter of pure opinion. That said, most people know that a hangover is caused by the dehydrating effect of alcohol on the body. So obviously water is required the day after hard drinking (like last night!). More preferably, if you drink water WHILE you're drinking hard, the next morning shouldn't be as rough. But who really wants to drink water with their Miller? That just takes up the space in the stomach that you have so readily set aside for beer! Moving on...
Most likely the effects of the alcohol the next morning will still be doing a number on you in some way. So any water you drink is going to be fought off. Oddly, salt (in the form of sodium-rich foods) forces your cells to retain water. So, in theory, eating something salty and drinking a decent amount of water should have you feeling rather spiffy in short order. I have personally proven this theory several times. About 20 ounces worth of water (more if you can stomach it), and (for me) a snack-size bag of chips, glass of tomato juice or even a few slices of lunch meat (ham is really salty) will do the job within 20-30 minutes and you'll be back in the game!

Or I could just stop drinking so damn much and sounding somewhat like a hypocrit talking all nerdy about "sodium-rich foods" and how they thwart alcohol's "dehydrating properties"! I mean, seriously!

Oh damn, I forgot I'm supposed to help Greg finish moving today. Crapola! Maybe I'll have good blogging material afterwards. I'll see if I can make him trip out the door carrying a sofa! At least I'll be amused!

CHEERS!
- posted by The Outlaw @ 1:15:00 PM |

 
One last thing...
I found a new "man handled" blog recently. And the "format" of his 100 list strikingly resembles mine.

Why do I think like a gay man?

CHEERS!
- posted by The Outlaw @ 9:10:00 PM |

 
The ineluctable motorcycle posts of 2005
OK, first things first…a little background on me:

In 1995 my mother earned a living by babysitting from our home. One of her kids in particular took quite a liking to me and would hang around me all the time. One day, he brought a diecast toy motorcycle with him. This will seem very stupid to some, but that toy kicked off my entire fascination with motorcycles. I’ve been addicted ever since. I can still remember that toy. It was a red Kawasaki Ninja sportbike. And all my young mind could think was how cool it would be to have one of these machines. And thus began my two-wheeled dream. Unfortunately, I was only 14 years old and to get a license for a motorcycle, you have to be at least 16.

Jump ahead a year to 1996…my parents just bought their first convertible car and the Indiana Pacers were HUGE in my state and especially in my city. The family was out one day for a drive with the top down and the unofficial theme song for the Pacers came on the radio. So, naturally, my sister and I began waving our arms back and forth in the air (the customary and highly recognizable gesture for this song). Then I spotted the lime green sportbike coming towards our car in the oncoming lane. When the rider was close enough, he (or possibly she) took notice of the enthusiast antics from the backseat of the convertible, let go of the handlebars and began to wave his (or her) arms back and forth as well in rhythm with ours. As he/she passed our car, the rider (in full leather gear and helmet) looked our way, gave a big thumbs up and wheelied past us. At the time, in my young mind, this was undeniably the pinnacle of all cool things! And then my mother piped up with, “Don’t you even think YOU’RE ever getting one of those stupid things!”

So now I was 15 years old (still too young) AND my mother clearly disapproved of my dream.

Not that I'm one to let a challenge get me down…

In 2002, I was 20 years old, still in college and my parents had just divorced. My mother decided to move back to her childhood hometown in Kentucky and my father moved to a smaller house across town. My sister is an undependable terd 99% of the time so I helped my father as much as possible on weekends between school helping him get settled into his new house. And my reward was more than I could handle almost. Mom was gone and that meant that two-wheeled vehicles were fair game now.

The trip to buy my first motorcycle was the longest 30 minutes of my entire life!

And so, my addiction began…and has grown steadily ever since. In the past 3 seasons, I have grown in many ways as a rider and my skill level is remarkable.

And now it is 2005 and time for a new bike. See I buy a new bike every year in the spring (usually April) and then turn around and sell it in late fall (October or so). Normally you would think it would be a better choice to just buy one bike and stick with that one, but as my skills increase, I like to further myself by stepping up in technology, size, power and speed. In chronological order from first to most recent, my bikes have been:


2002 Kawasaki Ninja EX250 (250cc)


2000 Kawasaki ZX-6R (600cc)


2003 Kawasaki ZX-636R (636cc)

And this year, I have prospected and chosen my ideal next step:


2005 Suzuki GSX-R750 (750cc)

And if any of you are riders or safety advocates, I will also be adding these to my collection this year as well:





Anyway, so the general purpose of this post is really just to warn my readers that in the next 2 months or so, much of my blogging material will likely have something to do with accounts from riding. Hopefully this doesn’t get annoying, but the most interesting things happen to me when I’m riding.

And so it begins…

CHEERS!

- posted by The Outlaw @ 8:23:00 PM |

 
Student of human nature
I have been a student of human nature for many years now. When I was 15, I suffered from clinical depression, withdrew from family and friends, "ran with the wrong crowd", used drugs and eventually became suicidal. I was admitted to a local psychological health facility for 8 days where I underwent the biggest turning point in my life. I became self-sufficient, strong-willed and developed the extreme basics of my doctrine for life (of course, not overnight). In the past 2 years or so, I have learned to be very open-minded and to take assumptions with a grain of salt. In theory, the possibilities to expand the mind are endless, yet humans, for the most part, prefer to just live within the confines of universal ideology. But we won't dive into the details of what makes me tick, so to speak.

Recently I have taken up an interest in Astrology. I'm not into horoscopes or anything and I don't look at Astrology as a spiritual religion. I don't read Tarot cards or claim to be all-knowing/all-seeing. But I find Astrology (particularly the Zodiac sun signs) to be a profoundly intriguing guideline in my "studies" of human nature and behavior. Lately, I have selected a few test subjects from my life and cross-referenced their behaviors and idiosyncracies with the predetermined "forecasts" set for each Zodiac sign.

This website is a good starting point to help explain each Zodiac sign. If you have time, I'd recommend you take a minute for self-examination (always a useful tool) and check your own tendencies and behaviors against what your sign is prone to.

I don't believe that the sun, moon, stars or planets has anything to do with people becoming the way that they are. I do believe that the time that you enter this world may somewhat dictate the different environmental and natural impressions left on you which may lead to certain outcomes in individuality. Then again, I don't believe that anyone has ever 100% perfectly fit the description of their sign, and these "variations" of the standard, in my opinion, are a result of the many different influences we may be subject to and develop from (i.e. a Capricorn born in the mountain region of Montana has very different environmental and cultural surroundings and factors than, say, a Capricorn born in the Florida Keys).

After all, human thinking is restricted only by that which we have not yet discovered. There was a time when things like radiation or sound waves were thought of as impossible. After all, if you can't see it, how would you know it's there? That is, until we developed the path to the discovery of things we cannot see. So who is to say that we just haven't yet discovered some other silent, invisible force that may have an impact on our physical or psychological capacity or development? Animals knew the tsunami in Indonesia was coming long before it arrived. Large concentrations of domestic and wild animals were found grouped far inland after the wave hit. So what invisible force allowed them to "predict" the future?

To tie this all together, my following of Astrology is due to the idea that the earth, sun, moon, etc. may have a lot to do with these alleged outside forces and influences, this being, in my opinion, the most logical speculation.

I promise, I won't go all pseudo-philosophical like this very often. But every now and then, I get an idea that I like to capitalize on. Although, it wouldn't be the first time I've been accused of being crazy!

CHEERS!

- posted by The Outlaw @ 1:01:00 PM |

 
My sincere apologies
Almost an entire week without a post! I know, shame on me! I may have blogger's block (aren't I clever?!?!).

In the meantime, a friend of mine from "way back" finally started her own blog recently. A project in the making for sure...but with a wonderfully relevant opening post!

Check it out!

...and I promise this will not happen again!

CHEERS!

- posted by The Outlaw @ 10:50:00 PM |

 
A few odd realizations
Disclaimer: If you are unfamiliar with American football, part of this post may not make sense.

It became clear to me yesterday evening that folks in Indiana are either way too ingrained with basketballism (I know that's not a real word, but try and use your imagination and stay with me here people!), or will stop at nothing to win free stuff, regardless of it's value (monetary or personal). Observe....
A conversation between "Jeff" and a local radio DJ from yesterday afternoon:

DJ: What's your name caller?
Jeff: My name is Jeff.
DJ: Congratulations Jeff, you're caller 93! You've won a pair of tickets to see the Indianapolis Colts take on the New England Patriots at the iMAX theater this Sunday!
Jeff: (With feigned enthusiasm) Awesome!
DJ: So are you a big Colts fan, Jeff?
Jeff: Yeah I suppose so.
DJ: Well let's get a quick prediction from you? Predict the score at the end of the game...
Jeff: Gee...I don't know, umm...102 to...70, I guess.
DJ: Umm...that would be with the Colts winning, at least, right?

Hopefully some of you will catch on to the inherent (and undeniably hysterical) humor here!

Anyway, moving on...

Don't you just hate when you're sitting there, with the girl you have a massive crush on (who happens to have a boyfriend who you think is a complete loser and inferior human being in general), talking about this and that and you're discussing personalities and you both realize that you definitely have several character traits which she finds extremely attractive (and she has, on several occasions, dropped hints in the past that she thinks you're cute) and the conversation starts to gear towards the idea that the two of you might actually be destined to hook up some day soon because you're clearly a much wiser choice as boyfriends go compared to the scumbag she's dating now and you know that with your imagination and creativity, the opportunities to completely woo her would be endless...and then the asshole calls just to tell her he's thinking about her (for the first time ever!) and she gets ALL F*CKING EXCITED about it and decides to rush home and cook dinner for the two of them and you know full well what that will lead to later in the evening, an event which now seems to never be destined to include YOU...

I mean, don't you just hate that?

CHEERS!




- posted by The Outlaw @ 4:54:00 PM |

 
The proverbial "everyone else has one" 100 useless facts list
1. I make a lot of my personal decisions based on the risk of getting made fun of
2. I would eat mexican food every single day if I could
3. I was born with a dislocated shoulder
4. I think I'm very intelligent in an uncommon capacity
5. ...but I play dumb a lot
6. I will avoid handwriting anything as often as possible
7. I like everything to be symmetrical and even
8. I'm 23 years old and my hair is severely going gray already
9. I think that Ecstasy might be an interesting drug to try
10. I technically work in Business Management but my degree is in Criminal Justice
11. I can watch the same movie or listen to the same song over and over again and not get bored
12. I hate basketball
13. I worry about my physical appearance more than most women
14. I was fired from the local Wal-Mart when I was 18 for stealing a radar detector
15. I often make financial decisions based on how others will view me as a result
16. I don't believe in god
17. I want to be like my dad when I'm older, but only in a few ways
18. I was unpopular in high school and did poorly in classes...
19. I was very popular at college and did extremely well in classes
20. I have had a motorcycle operator's license for almost 4 years
21. I am the last of my family (I have 4 sisters, no brothers and no male cousins)
22. I have a ridiculously good memory
23. I have never owned a dog before
24. I generally don't prefer "busty" women
25. I have had fantasies about having sex with an Australian woman just because of the accent they have
26. I like short hair on women
27. I am always organized even when things are a mess
28. I can't sleep in dead silence
29. I prefer FedEx to U.P.S. for no real reason
30. I only have one friend who also wears a suit to work
31. I like Halloween because it gives me an excuse to act stupid
32. I like April Fool's Day for the same reason
33. I am horrible at math
34. The word "vagina" drives me crazy (and not in a good way)
35. My apartment has brown/orange carpet
36. While I workout, I keep my intensity up by playing aggressive video games
37. I keep the thermostat in my house around 63 degrees, even in winter
38. I once accidentally fired a handgun inside my father’s house
39. For some reason, little kids always seem to like me
40. When I was a baby, I used to play with cellophane and kitchen towels instead of my toys
41. I have only been in one fist fight and I didn’t win
42. When I was in third grade my class found a used condom on the basketball court at recess
43. I am afraid of marriage because I’m terrified that I might end up divorced
44. Peanut butter is my favorite healthy food
45. I am intrigued by other cultures and alternate lifestyles
46. I am too dependent on the internet
47. I have an oddly huge crush on my hairdresser
48. I believe that I am more “christian” than most Christians
49. I have always wished my name had been Wesley
50. I have never travelled outside of the U.S.
51. I build muscle fastest in my chest
52. I have more VHS videos than I have DVD videos
53. I have owned 7 vehicles in my life (counting motorcycles)
54. I have a severe desire for acceptance, moreso than most I suspect
55. I tend to sell myself short in most cases
56. I daydream sometimes about leading police on a high speed chase just to see if I could win
57. I get my hair cut exactly once a week even though I could go longer between cuts
58. I feel proud when I make someone laugh
59. My longest running nickname was “Johnnycakes” but it has more or less died out
60. “Memento” and “The Butterfly Effect” are the only two movies I’ve had to watch more than once to understand
61. I’ve never truly been addicted to anything
62. I prefer to drive a manual transmission because they are more fun and more useful
63. I probably only put in about 10 hours per week of actual work at my office
64. I always wish that the whites of my eyes were brighter
65. I am afraid to take big risks when gambling for money
66. My liquor of preference is tequila
67. I once rear-ended a pregnant woman while driving because I was busy staring at a sports car
68. I was in the “gifted” program in elementary school
69. I always tend to chase after the wrong women without really realizing the mistake I’m making
70. For some reason, cold noses are a major turn-on for me
71. I’m a really good liar, especially in the spur-of-the-moment situations where you have no time to think up a bullsh*t excuse
72. …because of this, I usually second-guess people’s credibility, especially if they are intelligent
73. I used to live on a farm where my family raised sheep and cattle
74. …it was destroyed by a tornado in 1998
75. I have an affinity for good techno music
76. I’m not a jealous person, as guys go
77. I always swear that I will marry the first woman I find who plays guitar AND rides a motorcycle
78. A kiss usually has a major impact on me
79. My first job was on a hog farm when I was 15
80. I usually don’t do anything productive on Sundays
81. I have a friend with a vibrator named “Ross”
82. I talk to myself when I’m scared, especially if I’m alone
83. Sexually, I have comfort levels that most people can’t reach
84. In my family I am closest to my sister Crystal, who is, ironically, 1200 miles away
85. I am quick to accuse people of being closed-minded
86. I’m not big on designer labels as long as the clothes fit well
87. I have never cheated in a relationship
88. I have never had a broken bone (knock on wood)
89. I once put a hole in my guitar when I threw a remote control at my cat, and missed
90. I think brown is a horrible color for most anything aside from dirt
91. I don’t like “girlie” girls
92. I tend to get too “creative” with my wording when I explain things
93. I’m unusually good with long distance relationships
94. I have shaved my pubic hair before while drunk
95. I got a ticket once when I was 15 for “illegal possession of tobacco”
96. When my father passes away, I will most likely inherit enough money to put my kids through college someday (of course I’d rather keep him around)
97. Two of my ex-girlfriends have gotten pregnant out of wedlock
98. I don’t usually like to talk on the phone
99. I don’t watch television but I have dozens of South Park episodes downloaded on my computer
100. Extremely attractive women intimidate the hell out of me

CHEERS!

- posted by The Outlaw @ 11:36:00 PM |

 
Radio station inspiration
I woke up at 6:00 AM this morning and, of course, my favorite radio morning show was on. Everyday they do a segment called "Top 3 things you need to know". It's basically a top three list of news headlines. Some are very bizarre, some are very noteworthy and some are just plain hysterical. One of today's top three caught my attention. Unfortunately, I can't find an internet link to prove that this story is real. I've googled my heart out and couldn't find a headline about it anywhere. But the story went like this:

"A diabetic man from Germany recently vacationed in Costa Rica. Soon after his arrival, however, he noticed that his left foot was swelling quite a bit. Being a diabetic, he had been through this problem before and promptly visited the local hospital for some aspirin, which normally remedies such problems for diabetics. However, the medical staff believed that the problem was much more serious. They then proceeded to dose the man with drugs which knocked him out. Two days later the man came to in a Costa Rican airport with his left leg amputated below the knee and $375 missing from his wallet replaced by a receipt from the hospital for the surgery...."

The story goes on to explain the further complications the man has had since this calamity. In point of fact, the man suffered blood poisoning as a result of the surgery.

If no one else has dibs yet, I'm definitely buying the movie rights for this one!

In other news...(I've always wanted to say that!), the same local radio station also has a promotion going on where their listeners can call in and get a "listener number" to make their committment to that particular morning show more "official". Every time they distribute 1,000 listener numbers, they hold a promotional event for it and call it "The _,000 Listener Party". I think their last one was 8,000 if memory serves me correctly. Anywho, I've decided to take a similar route and hold a "Visitor Party" everytime I cross another thousand visitors to my blog. My first 1,000 is fast approaching! Time to prepare the guest list!

In reference to the recent IP-Relay calls I have received, I've decided that it is not, in fact, the CIA who is behind this. The messages are just screaming KGB! I mean, the CIA would at least know to dial the right number. And Russia is well-known for having far too many underground operatives and disbanded separatists anyway. "I will moon you like Randy Moss"? Come on, how does this not just reek of communism-esque humor?

I don't know how this happened, but I've had Hilary Duff's song "Let the Rain Fall Down" stuck in my head all morning. And I wonder why people sometimes question my sexuality!

No fan list today. I've decided I need a new trademark for my posts. So here's the official goodbye to the fan lists!

CHEERS!





- posted by The Outlaw @ 11:16:00 AM |

 
How to self-diagnose neuroses
~ Conversation that took place tonight between myself and a witty female friend of mine. As usual the names are changed for humor and anonymity!

Capt. Neurosis: So I just got a very amusing phone call...
Capt. Neurosis: from Applebees...
Untamed Shrew: Huh?
Capt. Neurosis: I dunno...
Capt. Neurosis: some woman called and when I said "Hello?", she goes "Ok, here's the deal...you're not calling her...she's not calling you...so I'm calling you, and now you get to talk to her but only if you behave, ok?"
Untamed Shrew: Who is "her"?
Capt. Neurosis: I haven't the foggiest...but my response went something like "Ummmm...can I ask who this is?"
Capt. Neurosis: To which she responded "OH CRAP...can I talk to Justin?"
Capt. Neurosis: And I go "I think you have the wrong number!"
Capt. Neurosis: And she says (in a very sincerely embarassed and apologetic tone of voice), "Oh my lord I'm sorry!", and immediately hung up!
Untamed Shrew: That is indeed funny!
Capt. Neurosis: So I sort of stood there staring at the phone like "WTF just happened!?!?"
Capt. Neurosis: And here I sit now wondering who "her" was as well
Capt. Neurosis: I mean it sure sounded like she was having guy issues...which we all know I am great at fixing (by stepping in and replacing the jerk of course!)
Capt. Neurosis: So, in theory, "her" could have very conceivably been my soulmate!
Untamed Shrew: This is quite true
Capt. Neurosis: But I guess I'll never know
Capt. Neurosis: Unless I run to Applebee's RIGHT NOW and ask every waitress if someone accidentally called a wrong number recently...
Capt. Neurosis: of course then I'll come off as neurotic and "her" will run away screaming, most likely hide under her sheets tonight thinking the weird guy from Applebee's might come stalking her again and have a generally irreversibly bad first impression of me altogether...
Capt. Neurosis: Have you any idea how difficult it is to be me?
Untamed Shrew: Sorry
Capt. Neurosis: But, on a lighter note, I think I have good blogging material here
Capt. Neurosis: Now should I lead off the post discussing my penile flexibility issues? Or leave that part out?
Untamed Shrew: What is wrong with you?
Capt. Neurosis: With my penis? Nothing at all. I just thought it sounded amusing!
Untamed Shrew: But you are acting...odd
Capt. Neurosis: I am?
Capt. Neurosis: Odd as in "not myself" odd?
Untamed Shrew: No...odd as in "smoking the banana peels" odd!

I guess this clears up two of my issues:
1. I have neurotic tendencies
and...
2. I now know the effects of smoking banana peels (and thank god because now I won't have to enter into human trials on that one after all, just so my curiosity will be sated!)

On a sidenote: I received another IP-Relay call tonight. This was was from Sprint's IP-Relay service. Last night was a different company I think. Either way, this message was even better than last night's: "I will moon you like Randy Moss."

If this can somehow be construed as a coded CIA message, I'd love to know how! Otherwise, I'm betting Canada is safe...for now!

Why does all the weird stuff happen to me?

CHEERS!



- posted by The Outlaw @ 9:17:00 PM |

 
I have acquired a temporary roommate
So I came home from work and guess who still hasn't moved from the spot where I left him 5 hours ago?

I'll give you three guesses...and the first two don't count!

Almost 24 hours running since the last time he slept and rapidly approaching 16 hours nonstop gameplay. For anyone who cares, he has been playing "The Need for Speed Underground II" on my PlayStation II. The ultimate goal is for him to reach level IV without trading in his car. For the past 16 hours, he has been continually upgrading a Peugeot 206 (The lowest level car you can get when you begin a new game)...


Granted it more closely resembles this now...


...and currently is competing against opponent cars like the Nissan Skyline...


Pontiac GTO...


and Mitsubishi 3000GT...


Somebody come save this poor kid before he realizes what a nerd he's becoming!

I hope for his sake that I do not acquire any further blogging material based on his odd sense of ambition!

CHEERS!


- posted by The Outlaw @ 3:54:00 PM |

 
Catching up
I tried to convince Jason to guestblog for me last night, but he was preoccupied playing Need for Speed Underground II. To be more precise, he was preoccupied for over 9 hours straight last time I checked. I went to sleep last night at midnight and woke up at 8:15 this morning and found him right where I had left him the night before. Pardon my extreme lack of surprise!

I got a strange phone call last night on my personal cell phone. The call was from an IP-Relay operator. See, the thing about relay calls is that the operator doesn't know who the caller is or where they are calling from. The caller is "calling" from a computer. They type what they want to say (like an instant message) and it goes to the operator, who places a phone call and relays the typewritten message to the "callee" verbally via telephone. It was originally started, I believe, as a way for deaf or mute people to make calls. Although a totally anonymous system like this is far too inviting for pranksters! This should prove my point (NSFW).

Oh and the message that the "caller" sent me was "I love the fields and the buffalo."

I disconnected the call for three reasons:

1. The operator was relaying EVERYTHING I said including the side comments I was making to Jason trying to explain the puzzled look on my face about this call. This also includes his side comment of "Does she sound hot?"

2. I had no idea who was calling me and the message made no sense.

3. I ruled out the possibility that the CIA had accidentally dialed a wrong number while trying to relay a highly classified coded message.

Either way, it was rather interesting.

On my way to work this morning, I heard something else that peaked my interest on the radio. I guess a listener and some friends were playing a version of truth or dare or something and one of the truth questions was "Name a celebrity that is generally not thought of as attractive, but whom you secretly find very sexy and would definitely have sex with." The woman said that her answer was David Letterman. The radio DJ (male) answered with Oprah Winfrey.

I haven't put much thought into this myself but I'm leaning towards Lori Petty. Feel free to share your thoughts here!

I'm sure I'll post more later. At the moment it was seriously bugging me that I had let my blog go several days without an update! My apologies!

Today I'm a fan of playing aggressive video games while exercising, "dirty girls" and my outlawed mind!

CHEERS!



- posted by The Outlaw @ 11:48:00 AM |

 
Ignorant motives
Leave it to me to say "I've never put dialogue in my blog before" and then wind up doing it twice the same day! My middle name should have been "Irony"!

Anywho, this was part of a conversation I had with "Marie" earlier this afternoon:

Marie: Regardless, we're all ignorant
Outlaw: We are?
Marie: It's a part of life
Marie: Yes, we are
Outlaw: ...oh
Outlaw: ...ok
Outlaw: From now on I shall introduce myself to people as "Ignorant" and I shall refer to them as "Ignorant" also!
Outlaw: "Hello Ignorant...I am called Ignorant also!"
Outlaw: "Nice to meet you!"
Marie: Do you not agree?
Outlaw: I do somewhat
Outlaw: We all exercise ignorance at some point
Marie: We are ALL ignorant...although some people seriously take the cake!
Outlaw: But maybe not EVERYONE and not ALWAYS
Outlaw: And it's not always everyone's fault...sometimes it is unavoidable
Marie: In almost every situation or circumstance, I'm certain I can find some type of ignorant motive behind it
Outlaw: Ok, what's my ignorant motive for having a job?
Marie: Do you drive a car to work? Then you're literally working just to pay for part of that gas to go to work...so you're working just to be able to get to work
Marie: See? Ignorance!
Outlaw: But my company pays for my car and my gas
Outlaw: Remember?
Marie: Hmmm...
Marie: Ok, gimme a second here...I can come up with one
Outlaw: I'm definitely blogging about this convo
Outlaw: I'm gonna go pee while you're thinking
Outlaw: Hmmm...I wonder what ignorant motive is driving me to pee!?!?
Outlaw: Yep...definitely blogging about this

CHEERS!
- posted by The Outlaw @ 5:45:00 PM |

 
Ferraris and moose (or mooses if you prefer)
I have never posted a dialogue from an outside conversation before but this one seemed too amusing not to share!

A conversation between my neurotic friend Greg and myself earlier today:

Greg: I just don't wanna sit in another Ferrari.
Me: Ferrari??????
Greg: expression I made up
Me: I think I get it
Me: But clarify anyway
Greg: It's like when you go to an exotic car dealership and sit in a Ferrari...
Greg: You really want it...
Greg: And you think about it...
Greg: It's perfect...
Greg: But sitting in it is as close as you'll ever get.
Greg: So hanging out with a girl you really like that you can't have is like sitting in a Ferrari.
Me: Let alone that you look really out of place in a 6-figure vehicle when you're an unattractive, broke-ass bum with a shitty job and a low-class life...
Greg: ...oh yeah, that too

Anyway, so I must thank Jen for jumping on the bandwagon of loyal "outlaw" followers! Jen is from Canada. So of course the mouse-over text on her link (yes I'm linking to her, naturally!) will probably include the word "aboot". But until I get her link added permanently, I'll put one in this post.



CHEERS!
- posted by The Outlaw @ 1:53:00 PM |

 
The continuing battle
Many of the readers of this blog already know that I constantly face accusations that I am gay. I've spent some time pondering this fact. I've even gone as far as to step outside the box and really question my sexuality on more than one occasion. I've done some serious soul-searching about certain guys I have met. Bottomline is: I'm not gay. I'm just open-minded. Moreso maybe than most people. I can definitely see why many people mistake me as gay. I can see why some are absolutely certain that I am and are just waiting patiently for me to come out (I think even my own mother fits into this category). Either way, I'm very satisfied in my certainty about my sexuality and I don't pay much attention to the "little people" anymore...

But I would hate to disrupt the usual flow of misinterpretations!

I've realized lately that some of the most interesting blogs I have come across are authored by gay men. And I am extremely intrigued by their perspectives, let alone amused by their writing style in most cases. So I am compiling a separate list of my favorites and listing them separate from my other blog links.

I mean, with a collection of links to blogs containing post titles such as "Gays of our lives" and "I don't care how straight you are", how could I ever be flamed?

Wait, was that a gay pun?!?!

CHEERS!


- posted by The Outlaw @ 7:14:00 PM |

 
A whole lotta nada
I tried blogging three times last night. My computer wouldn't stay UNcrashed long enough to post my entry though. I'm currently in the middle of a battle with a Trojan virus on my computer at home. So far it's a draw. Nothing is ruined, but the proverbial "blue screen of death" hits every 30 minutes or so. No big deal though. I need to upgrade to Windows XP anyway.

So the apartment across the hall from me is up for rent again. I gotta say, I am so happy I found this place! The rent is dirt cheap and, while the apartments are old, they're not dirty, rundown or shoddy. The unanimous opinion of my apartment has been "It has character", which I like! Anywho, I'm eager to see who my new neighbor will be. Of course I keep hoping for a gorgeous, single, young blonde to move in but ice cubes will have a fun vacation in hell before that happens. Jason has expressed an interest once again in moving out of his parents' house. He wants me to see about securing that apartment for him. And, as if it isn't cheap enough already, he thinks he might be able to get the landlady to knock the price down $50.



This afternoon Scott and I approved and submitted our bids for a $3 million+/3 year account. The competition is stiff but I get 1% commission on it if we win. It doesn't seem like much, but at that price, it's like an extra $800-900 per month for me! So obviously I'm probably going to lose sleep from the anxiety that this will surely cause!

On this glorious Thursday of Thursdays I'm a fan of blowing off new year's resolutions in the first week, learning more advanced HTML tricks and of course my outlawed mind!

CHEERS!



- posted by The Outlaw @ 3:07:00 PM |

 
Blog fame!
This morning I added a new blog to my list of "Suggested Readings". I've gathered that the author's name is Neil but please correct me if I'm wrong. Anywho, I posted a comment on one of his entries today and this evening he blogged about me!


Jon's To-Do List for Life
1. Marry Jennifer Aniston
2. Get inducted into the Illuminati
3. Start an internet-based business trading annoying Canadian coins back to Canada for profitable items
4. Aquire Alien Hominid for PlayStation II
---AND---
5. Immortalize my name in a popular, amusing and universally outstanding piece of internet literature

3 out of 5 is pretty good for a 23-year-old! Now is anyone willing to knock off Brad Pitt for 20 bucks?

CHEERS!


- posted by The Outlaw @ 10:17:00 PM |

 
Alien Hominid
It is absolutely imperative that everyone reading this do two things:

1. Go to this site immediately!

2. Agree not to poke fun at my unexplainable sense of humor!

If Stitch (from the movie Lilo & Stitch) had a carnivorous cousin with a craving for chaos, then (alliteration aside) this guy would be it!

And, not to state the obvious, but, I love "Alien Hominid", my new flatscreen T.V. (I'm SO moving up in the world!) and my outlawed mind!

CHEERS!

- posted by The Outlaw @ 11:51:00 AM |

 
Helpy Helper!

As of the publishing of this post, I have helped 4 people learn HTML and build customized websites! I think I deserve a little recognition so I will give myself some!
Posted by Hello

- posted by The Outlaw @ 1:21:00 PM |

 
Conflict of interests
On my way to finish my laundry tonight, I had a strange but interesting thought. Some of you who know me probably know that I have a tendency to try and live along the lines of the somewhat popular phrase "live each day as if it's your last.". Unfortunately, I am also a stickler about healthy eating, working out and getting the right amount of sleep. Is it just me or do these two concepts completely collide with each other? If you are nearly obsessed with being healthy, isn't that more like living each day as though you'll make it well past the average life expectancy?

So the question becomes; Should one live for the moment, or the future?

Anyone have any thoughts on this? (No political agendas please!)

Fan list later....

CHEERS!


- posted by The Outlaw @ 11:28:00 PM |