What makes a Fuckhead?
Ever since the dawn of time, humankind has been divided into two camps: Those who were welcome in the camps, and those who weren't. Stanley Kubrick's film classic 2001: A Space Odyssey best depicts this early schism in human ancestors: At the side of the communal water stream, the social apes whacked the antisocial apes over the head with bones.
Over time, religious tradition, social science, and human evolution have recognized the basic division of mankind into social and antisocial camps. The antisocial have been shunned, excommunicated, pressed into exile, and even hunted as the social group has forced the antisocial from its camps, cities, and homes.
Now, with the advent of the Internet as a force in pop culture, this schism has not only survived, but become stronger and more readily acknowledged.

They are called Fuckheads.

But what makes a person a Fuckhead? A Fuckhead is a person who, through the pattern of repeated behavior when dealing with others, demonstrates certain characteristics and a repeated inability or unwillingness to change or modify his/her behavior to conform to the social code of conduct.

These are the characteristics that make the Fuckhead:

A Fuckhead Must Have An Exaggerated Sense of His/Her Own Importance

The Fuckhead will come to the table insuperably convinced of his/her own correctness and of his/her immediacy in any debate or discussion. For example, the non-Fuckhead will join a discussion cautiously, reading over the prior correspondance and offering an opinion thoughtfully. The Fuckhead will come plowing in without regard to the established parameters of the debate and without regard to the existing participants.
The Fuckhead, when challenged, will then state some fantastic-sounding credentials to justify and bolster the strong opinion. When challenged further, the Fuckhead will usually display anger and refuse to further substantiate the presented credentials, some sort of "I already said so, and that should be good enough for you!"
At this point the Fuckhead has demonstrated an exaggerated sense of his/her own importance: He/she has presented an overriding opinion which, in the Fuckhead's mind, should be definitive and cease all debate, and the Fuckhead will be unable to understand why the other participants will not accept his/her opinion on sight. To The Fuckhead, the focus should always be on them. If it's important to them, it should be important, accepted and understood by everyone around them.

A Fuckhead Must Refuse to Abide By Common Social Standards

One of the most common traits of the Fuckhead is the absolute refusal to follow common social standards. Fuckheads will frequently use a persecution defense when they are asked to cease their behavior. They may claim that they are being singled out because of their unpopular viewpoints, or that they are victimized by the nebulous "political correctness" movement. These claims attempt to avoid the obvious cause of the challenge, which is the antisocial behavior itself, by demonizing the reaction to the behavior.

The Fuckhead's refusal to abide by common social standards is therefore manifested. In the early chapters of history, such refusal to abide by the rules of the group would lead one to be unwelcome by the fire, or to be tarred and feathered. Now, though, it is just one more characteristic in the profile of the Fuckhead.

A Fuckhead Must Keep Coming Back Without Mending His/Her Ways

"Don't you ever learn?" This question is one of the most frequently asked of wayward children or oft-injured adults. But when asked of the Fuckhead, the answer is always, "No." The Fuckhead does not learn.
"Why must you come where you're not wanted?" This question has been asked of the socially deviant and challenged since the dawn of time. Yet the Fuckhead will keep coming back, over and over again. The fuckhead loves conflict. The Fuckhead will defend his or her inflexibility by saying, "I have every right to my opinion," and "I have every right to participate in this discussion." But the Fuckhead will find that other participants, who do not appreciate the Fuckhead's presence or contributions, will make use of tools ranging from the silent treatment to all out malicious attacks.

You can count on the Fuckhead to shriek "Censorship!" when you tune out their input. You can count on the Fuckhead saying rude things about you when he/she is sure you're no longer listening. But it will never occur to the Fuckhead to approach topics and people differently, and never, ever occur to the Fuckhead to avoid venues where the atmosphere is unfriendly. It onl;y makes sense to avoid sinners if you're a christian. Or to steer clear of conversations involving sex if you prefer to be excluded from participation. This inability to exit gracefully is a distinguishing mark of a Fuckhead. In this sense, Fuckheads are commonly referred to as "no fun".

A Fuckhead Will Change His/Her Beliefs To Suit The Situation

Fuckheads are dedicated to one cause; furtherance of self. And they are committed to only one opinion; superiority of self. All other causes and opinions are secondary to the Fuckhead. The non-Fuckhead may change his/her opinions from time to time, or support or abandon causes throughout life, these changes usually come about when new information is learned, or when circumstances change. The Fuckhead, however, changes opinions and causes as readily as a non-Fuckhead might change shirts.
A good example of this change of opinion has been shown by a recently notorious blogger. When it suits them, they are the model christian soldier spreading the word of christ. Conversely, when it suits them, they are a sinner, powerless and careless in the face of temptation. Rational people may agree to disagree, but the Fuckhead's limited focus and lack of loyalty allows the Fuckhead to fight with friends and agree with foes so readily that there is almost no constant distinction between the two. But this changeability makes the individual an unworthy foe and an untrustworthy ally -- and hence, a Fuckhead.

What Makes a Fuckhead?

The Fuckhead may display all of these characteristics, or some of them, or only one. Some may love a Fuckhead like a brother, some may think their brother is a Fuckhead. What is incontrovertible is that for all of humanity, there are people that you would do anything to get rid of, and those people, throughout history, are the Fuckheads.

CHEERS!

- posted by The Outlaw @ 9:34:00 PM