Even a Blind Squirrel Finds an Acorn Occasionally
As a kid, I played for the football team when I was in middle school. My father was very proud. Hell even my grandfather came all the way from Lexington, KY to watch a few of my games. I played on the offensive line when I started out in 7th grade. I was just one of the guys with my knuckles in the dirt and ass in the air, ready to pounce on anyone who tried to get across the line of scrimmage. I wasn't really big either. I was about 5'7" and maybe 155 lbs. I was a short, fat, pre-pubescent, pain-fearing kid!

And I was scared!

On our team, we had a linebacker (linebackers are defensive players) named Justin. Our coach (an ex-Florida State University football player, who we all just called "Coach Joe") had nicknamed this kid Justin "The Jackal". He was a bigger guy, slow but strong. And definitely bigger than me. He would routinely run offensive players over to get to the quarterback and Coach Joe really doted on this guy. Cut to little ole' me, squatting on the line and generally doing nothing at all noteworthy that made me stand out. I was no threat to anyone during practice.

So one day, I took the line in practice against a defender who was actually about my size. I was always used to being matched against bigger guys who could mow me down. Me and this kid locked up and gritted teeth pretty good. I never got past him, and he never got around me all afternoon. After awhile I got the crazy idea in my head that I should use this to my advantage and maybe make a statement. So I started looking for opportunities to make a big play (which is difficult as an offensive lineman). It occured to me that The Jackal never paid me any attention because he knew I was always too afraid to try to take him on during play. So on the next play, I planted the kid defending me, broke the line and charged The Jackal...

And he went down hard. Never knew what hit him! It was a big play! A HUGE play! Hell the offense gained over 40 yards on that run because I took out the key defender!

Coach Joe nearly had a heart attack. And from that day on, I was "The Neutralizer".

Of course, after that I never saw daylight again. Now that the rest of the team had realized I was actually a threat after all, I was targeted and planted in the dirt as much as possible.

Oh and then Coach Joe tried me at Tailback (an offensive position that generally runs the ball) to try and make use of my new "drive".

He may as well have painted a bright red target on my jersey!

I left the team freshman year with minor knee injuries!

I'm such a genius!

CHEERS!
- posted by The Outlaw @ 2:16:00 PM